I Live in the Matrix

My Sociology of Development class closely parallels classes I have taken at UI. So, to save time, I always try to revamp essays to apply to the class. This unit we discussed Bourdieu and Giddens, two macro-society theorists. This was convenient because I had already written an essay on their theories for Theory class last fall (thanks Troy). While rereading my paper over Bourdieu and Giddens’ macro theories on society, I realized that my life in Guatemala City is a reflection of their theories. My life is the Matrix!

Giddens and Bourdieu discuss what is called habitus, where people have to accept their lot in life because normally they don’t have the individual power to change it. It’s pretty much maintaining the status quo, which happens all the time here (the poor stay poor and the rich get rich). My habitus is accepting that I appear to have capital, yet really having few social and economic connections, and also to be a hermit-esque ex-pat. Since I live alone it’s really hard to get inside of Guatemalan society.

Giddens also talks about how people perform the same behaviors, miming the people who are in the society to fit in (or until the wrong behaviors are corrected). Here, since I live all alone, I never get to know about Guatemalan anything. I’m a genuine ex-pat. I need an insider to explain things like “gordita” means “looking good!” and that if I am going to miss class I don’t tell the teacher but the department why I’ll be gone (hierarchy is very important here). Without an insider I have no idea the things I’m doing are wrong. So, I’ve done or understood things wrong and sometimes people are nice enough to explain them to me (phew).

That brings me to power and Bourdieu. Bourdieu explains that society is run in different fields. People live in different fields, or life statuses/realities, where they have different amounts of power. Power is what Bourdieu calls “capital” and there are three kinds of capital: economic (wealth), cultural (university, going to plays, listening to opera), and social (being well connected like a WASP). The more capital you have the more power you have in society. Economic and social are the most powerful (think about how much influence oil companies have in the USA) and influential. Here in Guatemala, I live in Zona 15 (where really rich people live), go to a ritzy school, am connected to Rotary International, and I’m a white American. This makes Guatemalans perceive that I have great amounts of economic and social capital. The truth is, I’m poor but chose to live in Zona 15 for safety reasons, go to Universidad del Valle for the ease of acceptance into the school (social capital!), but I have no connections to anyone important in Guatemalan society (well… maybe through school and Rotary). As an American it sure looks like I have lots of capital (hm… I should take advantage of that). I feel like it looks like I can play on different fields here, but really, I’m an out of place college student living in a ritzy neighborhood. It’s like living in the Matrix, playing on different fields, and really realizing that this life is not reality (or my reality).

I’d like to give one more example of how my life reflects Bourdieu and Giddens theories (which are rather like the Matrix). I like to go to Café Barista, the local coffee shop, because I like good lattes. It’s a really modern building with hip architecture, square chairs and couches (like a magazine picture). They like to play Putumayo music, probably to make them seem more globally conscious or organic or something. However, it always bothers me that people who go there look like tools and stooges, which makes me worry I’m a tool for going to the coffee shop. At any rate, I’m out of my comfort field….

Today there was an incredible amount of rich looking Guatemalans in Café Barista. It made me think of the Matrix because as a white American going to Café Barista, it probably seems like I’m on the same playing field of these rich Guatemalans. Yet, they all wear trendy clothes and have cool cars, are well connected, and probably can more easily afford their “mocha frappuchinos” than I can a latte (I should stop drinking coffee).

I realized this bizarre intersection of my middle-class Americanness (western Americanness at this point) at Café Barista today. I feel like I don’t have the same levels of social, economic, and cultural capital as these other people, yet I am able to frequent the same locations as they are (perceived social and economic capital). This came to a head today when a well dressed man started talking to me about what I’m doing in Guatemala (the conversation brought on by the fact I’m reading a leftist novel about Guatemala). He’s an important lawyer and was very proud to show me his last name was COLOM, meaning he’s related to the incoming president. Talk about social, cultural, and economic wealth! And he established his power over me by using all of those in the conversation (e.g. important lawyer, well connected, sophisticated). All that went through my head was BOURDIEU and wishing I could STICK IT TO THE MAN and, of course, THE MATRIX!!!! I realized, again, that I live in the Matrix in this complicated society of playing fields, power, capital, and hierarchy. I hope no one realizes that I’m really like Keanu and trying to escape this system. But, well… if Keanu can do it, anyone can (actually, the cockroach that lives in my house is probably more like Keanu than I am. I’m the clone that tries to kill it every day and it escapes…).

My life in Guatemala is not reality, but a playing field. The Matrix exists.